ONLINE THINGS

“Pokémon Go to the Polls” Was 10 Years Ago

And other cursed reminders from Becca Schuh’s feed.

We’re glad to have Becca back on U.S. soil, though presumably she is less glad to trade France for smoky, possibly cryptosporidiosis-plagued NYC. Seasons change and so do cities. But there’s always the internet.

I am back just in time for the New York apocalypse. This week, the internet felt like a nice platter of chaos, a platter full of lettuce and berries, if you will. You see where I’m going with this.

Some posters have come up with fail-safe plans to avoid the diarrhea plague.

And to add insult to injury …

Some people are doing The Odyssey right!

Should I buy the ChatGPT basketball for my boyfriend?

Cursed anniversary. A decade of hell.

Um, yeah, I know nothing endures except change, but this one still hurts …

The people are crafting in ways crafts have never been crafted before.

Every new thing I learn about the manosphere is stupider than the last.

This is me building these tweets for you all <3

MONEY

How Much Allowance Is Enough for NYC Teens?

The numbers vary wildly depending on whom you ask.

Oh no, being asked to budget not just for myself but for a teenager?? I have enough trouble controlling my own snacking and latte-buying ways. But unfortunately this is just one of the realities of living in a city: Our kids must leave the apartment and venture out on their own, and they are going to need to buy bubble tea.

What is “enough” for a New York City tween or teen not to feel left behind? Among users of Greenlight, a family finance app that lets parents automate allowance delivery, the average annual allowance given by NYC parents in 2025 was $831, or roughly $16 a week. (The national average was $347.) But in talking to parents, I heard of kids receiving as little as $5 and as much as $200 per week. I heard about kids becoming overdrawn on their Apple Pay accounts, listing their baseball cards on auction apps to boost their snack funds, and investing their allowances into the stock market (with unknown returns), while others had to complete a list of chores to buy one soda from a vending machine on a Saturday.

For now, we just put money on a debit card, and if it runs out before we think it “should,” Raffi suffers terrible privation (not being able to buy Sour Patch Kids at the grocery store near his school). I hope the future doesn’t bring untold horrors into my life on this front. If it will, please no one tell me so.

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BEAUTY

A $10,000 Beard Transplant Was Worth It

For this man, facial hair was key to being taken seriously at work.

For one guy working in private equity and venture capital, having a baby face was becoming a liability. Even though he was in his 30s, he was routinely spoken down to, teased about his youthful appearance, and passed over for opportunities. Getting a beard transplant — a relatively uninvasive procedure with pretty much no recovery time — was his key to feeling more confident. And maybe even being more successful?

The clearest sign of change for me came during a work meeting. Usually, people would make little jokes at the beginning to lighten the mood, and I was often the target. That day, it didn’t happen. The tone felt different immediately. People seemed more attentive, more serious.

I noticed I wasn’t bracing for the start of the meeting in the same way. Usually, I’d walk in already aware of how I might be perceived.

Halfway through, I realized I wasn’t trying to prove I belonged there anymore. I was just presenting. Focused, steady, not scanning faces or second-guessing how I was being read.

Ten grand is probably not a lot if you work in finance, but [whispers] he looked better in the “before,” IMO.

Click Your Way Out

• Spicy ribs at Queens’s first Eritrean and Ethiopian restaurant.

• “He was a sweet, good-looking, serious boy. Until he died, his life was good.”

• The exact ink and brushes Frank Miller can’t live without.

• Did you know Janet Malcolm spent ten years writing an interior-design column?

• This author spent $44,000 launching her book but didn’t recoup her outlay.

• Fashion tips from Susan Orlean.

• Would you like to date Martha Stewart’s auto mechanic? Would your dog like to date her dog?

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Playing videos of this kid who can do incredible bird calls is a great way to mess with your cats’ heads!

SCENTS

Take a More Serious Approach to Deodorant!

Do it for your fellow commuters, if not yourself.

The sky is orange, and the temperature is in the 90s. You and I are both covered in a thin film of sweat at all times — it’s unavoidable. Smelling bad, however, is optional. The first step is to understand the science of B.O., per Strategist senior editor Crystal Martin.

“I realized that what the natural-deodorant people have been saying for years is true: The stink is from bacteria, not the sweat itself,” she said. “The bacteria are metabolizing proteins and fat in the sweat, and the by-products of that are what cause body odor. So one thing you can do to control that process of stink production is get rid of the bacteria. Acids do that by lowering the skin’s pH and creating an inhospitable environment for the bacteria.”

Now that you know the disgusting things happening on a microbial level in your crevices, you are equipped to create your own funk-eliminating regimen. Strategist writer Dominique Pariso recommends a three-step process: an anti-bacterial wash in the shower, an AHA deodorant, and a weekly bedtime application of an aluminum wipe such as her preferred SweatBlock. That way, you don’t have to apply aluminum anti-perspirant daily — even though it’s perfectly safe, many of us still avoid it because of the whiteness, pilling, and residue. This also frees you up to choose a pH-balancing (acidifying) deodorant that smells really good. I like Megababe’s The Smoothie fruit-enzyme deodorant; Dominique recommends Nécessaire Eucalyptus, a scent I love in the bodywash/scrub format. This all sounds like spon, I realize, but my goal here is not to sell deodorant; it’s to protect my sensory peace on a packed A/C/E.

SCENES

Are You the Type of Person Who Could Enjoy a Miami Smoothie Joint?

No judgment from me. It sounds nice.

There’s a new fast-casual chain café type thing in New York, and its appeal is based on its soothing, Instagram-friendly atmosphere as much as its pricey smoothies. While a derisive reaction is understandable, we might also be willing to succumb to its charm, which old heads who remember when there was only one Sweetgreen in Flatiron and it was good may find familiar.

Inside, diners lifted slices of avocado toast to their mouths as they typed into spreadsheets. One woman in a Dôen blouse sipped a creamy baby-blue drink as if she was in no hurry to finish it. A song so vague that even Shazam couldn’t detect it emanated from speakers hidden somewhere in the lofty space decorated in white and neutral woods. It felt like stepping into a well-maintained tooth. It felt like getting just a little bit of a lobotomy. Even the “Wet Floor” sign was made of gold.

Just a little bit of a lobotomy? Sign me up, stat.

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SCENESTERS

Julia Allison’s Wedding Was Everything You Could Imagine

A “dark-academia aesthetic” at Harvard. Cory Booker co-officiated. There was a snake.

Trigger warning: Do not read this if you were online in the aughts. Or maybe do, I’m not the boss of you. The mother of all influencers got married, once in Cambridge and once in Bali, and Town & Country was there to report on all the amazing details, none of which you could make up if you tried.

Two months later, the couple and their loved ones went around the world to Bali. Guests, including “five shamans from across the world” and the Yale Whiffenpoofs a cappella group, all joined in. The five day mini-festival began with a party with the dress code “Welcome to the Jungle.”

If Julia Allison didn’t exist, we would have to invent her, and I for one am glad she does.

Click Your Way Out

• A haunting meditation on the writer’s own impending death and a reason to rewatch Little Women (1994).

• The very cool bedrooms of NYC teens.

• The Look Book goes backstage at Liza! at 80.

• As sci-fi readers and watchers know, it all comes true eventually.

• An incisive, funny, and thoughtful pan of pans.

• Lenny Kravitz says he works out in his leather pants to test their performance capabilities, but I think he does it to make sure they don’t split.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

If you are old enough to remember when Julia Allison and I went to a psychic together, it’s time to schedule a colonoscopy after your lobotomy.

POP GIRLIES

Welcome to Your Ph.D. Program in Madonna Studies

“Please, someone, teach me something I don’t already know.”

Have you heard the good news about our lord and savior Madonna?

It has recently come to my attention that some younger millennials and Gen-Z people didn’t grow up with Madonna in the air and in the water the way people my age (44 and up) did. Without that foundation, it’s hard to appreciate how exciting it is that the queen of pop has just released a No. 1 album at age 67, an album that is very, very good. Not to be mean, but just for perspective, Belinda Carlisle and Simon Le Bon are also 67, and they’re probably playing with their grandkids on a yacht right now. Madonna is shaking her ass at Knockdown.

To properly wrap your head around this and the historical import of Confessions II, you may need to crack the books. Enter Conner Reed, a 30-year-old writer living in Brooklyn. A little more about Conner: “I’m a gay only child who grew up in a literal log cabin in rural Oregon, so I had a lot of time on my hands. In my early teens, I decided to go deep on Madonna because I knew gay guys were supposed to know about her, and I was becoming obsessed with Lady Gaga and David Bowie. In the ensuing ~17 years, Madonna has basically become part of my DNA. I mostly find stan culture frightening and embarrassing, but she has always been the One for me. The prospect of her coming back this summer with an album that was more … palatable … than Madame X awakened me like a sleeper agent.”

He has compiled an exhaustive syllabus, which I present to you in its entirety. Hat tip to Zach Schiffman for bringing this to our attention. Note: He has not completed his studies.

UNIT 1: THE EARLY YEARS (1983–88)

The biggest barrier to getting into Madonna is being allergic to ’80s pop cheese, and I get it! Her first three albums — Madonna, Like a Virgin, and True Blue — have their charms, but she didn’t lock in artistically until No. 4. I’d listen to the highlights on The Immaculate Collection. I’m generally not a greatest-hits guy, but The Immaculate Collection is perfect and feels like a complete album in its own right.

UNIT 2: THE ALBUM ARTIST (1989–91)

After Madonna became the most famous woman in the world, she decided she wanted to shed her “provocative music for teenagers” reputation and be taken seriously as an Artist, so she made Like a Prayer, an album about God and family and fucking. She wrote or co-wrote everything on it, and it’s her first record that hangs together as a single statement. Critics loved it. It’s still seen as one of her very best, but I think it’s aged a little less well than her other classics, so if you’re in danger of jumping ship, I’d go straight to Erotica and come back later.

UNIT 3: THE IMPERIAL PHASE (1992–97)

It doesn’t get better than ’90s Madonna, imo. Erotica is a top-two Madonna album, which lots of people know now, but at the time, it was overshadowed by Sex, her raunchy coffee-table book that dropped the next day and pissed everyone off. Musically, Erotica is dark, strange, adventurous, and weirdly sad; “In This Life” is about the death of her best friend from AIDS, and the whole album is tinged with anxiety. By the end of 1992, basically everyone on earth hated Madonna for being horny, so in 1994, she responded with Bedtime Stories, a gorgeous and respectable R&B record. Then she was Evita and won a Golden Globe, but that movie is frankly none of my business.

UNIT 4: EARTH MOTHER (1998–2002)

Now we’re into the real shit. After turning 40, giving birth, and getting into Kabbalah and eastern spirituality, Madonna put out Ray of Light, her undisputed masterpiece. It’s a big electronica epic about motherhood, fame, God (again), and death (again). Best thing she’s ever done. Then, in 2000, she put out the comparatively mild Music, but Music would be the peak of a different artist’s career: a playful, confident experiment with electronica and acoustic guitar and yet more spiritual musings. They’re two of my favorite albums by anyone, ever.

UNIT 5: FLOP OR FLY? (2003–04)

After winning critics over, Madonna lost them again with American Life, which is probably her weirdest pre-2019 album. I happen to think it fucking rocks, but the harsh blend of dry French electronic music and straight-faced folk made a lot of people mad. To me, it’s basically Brat by a woman concerned with her legacy and eager to tell people it’s lonely at the top. History has been kind to American Life, too, with a lot of gay guys on the internet saying it’s her best. I’m not sure about that, but it’s hard to imagine anyone at her level putting out something this bold now.

UNIT 6: CONFESSIONS I (2005)

Instead of going quiet and respectable, à la Bedtime Stories, Madonna responded to the American Life hate by hitting the club at age 47. Confessions on a Dance Floor is her last great album, a cool-as-fuck club set that melds the introspective, spiritual currents of her work post–Ray of Light with the euphoria of her early hits. The original album was sequenced like a gapless DJ set, and only the Twenty Years Edition on streaming retains that format. (Just ignore the bonus tracks post–“Like It or Not.” With love.)

TEMPORAL THINGS

We Must End the Biannual Clock-Switching Madness

The worst person you know just made a great point.

Time is a construct, which is always kind of a mindfuck to contemplate. But contemplate it we must, because today a Trump-supported bill passed Congress that would get rid of the outdated nuisance that is “spring forward, fall back.” Will the Senate finally get us on the same page as the many countries that stay on standard time year-round? Well … maybe.

“So why wouldn’t this sail through the Senate too? Basically, because Tom Cotton opposes it. Individual senators have more power to tank a bill than their House colleagues. Though the Arkansas senator allowed Rubio’s bill to pass in 2022, he later said that was a “mistake.” Last October he blocked an attempt to fast-track another version of the Sunshine Protection Act in the Senate, arguing that farmers “might go three, four, even five hours in the morning without seeing the sun.”

Counterpoint, Tom: “It gets dark at 4:30 p.m.” is much worse than “The sun rises after 8 a.m.” for me, personally, from a psychological standpoint. And I know I’m not alone in this! Sorry to the farmers!!

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GEN ALPHA

These Teens Have Summer Jobs in NYC

Slinging slime and scrubbing the pool deck; they’re lucky to be employed.

Anne Kadet interviewed some enterprising teens about how they’re making enough money to buy Starbucks Refreshers and pay for college. It’s really tough to get work in this city in general, but especially if you’re under 18; a lot of places just don’t hire people that young, and most jobs require previous experience. One exception is lifeguarding, but the training turns out to be very rigorous!

“The hardest part of the job, Ethan Stephens says, was getting the job. He had to pass an exam that included a speed test. Only lifeguards who can swim 440 yards in six minutes and 40 seconds qualify for a coveted beach job; the cutoff is 7:40 for a pool job, the one he wanted. Before that, he had to take a training course at a gym near Columbus Circle, which included lap swims and sitting in a classroom every week for eight months. “The classes aren’t fun,” he adds. “It’s not something you want to do after school on a Thursday.”

Damn, that is way more intense than the training I received prior to my own lifeguarding career, which if memory serves involved a CPR class and an exercise where we had to “rescue” the instructors in the deep end.

Click Your Way Out

• Is Vanderbilt the new Harvard?

• The Odyssey is “a whole lot of movie, some of it thrilling.”

• Counterpoint: The Odyssey is “a massive array of moving parts that does eventually coalesce into something powerful.”

• The Library at Mount Char fans, rejoice: Scott Hawkins has a new novel coming out September 1!!

• This is exactly how I felt about Lost Lambs.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Super bonus extra credit: Watch Body of Evidence. “When Julianne Moore slapped Madonna in the bathroom, it opened my third eye,” Conner says.

THE DISCOURSE

Diarrhea Is Having a Moment

Here’s what we’re chatting about around the hopefully untainted watercooler.

Every so often, I like to check in with my colleagues and my various feeds to see what’s top of mind at this exact moment in time. This week, we’re thinking about cyclosporiasis outbreaks, Andrew Lloyd Webber, representation, James Franco, and, as always, Mercury. It’s in retrograde again.

• “I feel like there’s a lot of talk of diarrhea lately, what with Legionnaires’ on the UES and cyclosporiasis everywhere in the country.”

• “I’m sorry, but the actor playing the Philip Roth character in Asymmetry should be Jewish. Full stop. The end. That is my opinion.” - Me

• Carey Mulligan will play Mrs. Greenwood in Sarah Polley’s The Bell Jar, speaking of book-to-film adaptations.

• Andrew Lloyd Webber threading about the broken Broadway business model: “I feel like his personal solution would be to pay less for labor (or ‘labour’) when we really should be looking into those landlords keeping the rents high and double-dipping into producing …”

• “I feel sad and creeped out once again by James Franco.”

• “The camp-bankruptcy story is also in the discourse in a very select group of people who send their kids to camp, because the camps, in the midst of camp and tour season, are being sold off one by one.”

• Chris Pine is suing a townhouse developer over a Cobble Hill rental that fell through, and he also continues — somewhat maddeningly — not to be the same person as James Marsden.

• Oh, that explains it. That explains everything.

• “Surely Erling Haaland has seen the Heated Rivalry edits of him and Jude Bellingham.”

• “Need to know what Miranda July thinks of the Qualley-Antonoff split.”

THE YOUTH

Rent Your Next Apartment From a 19-Year-Old Realtor

Meet the youngest licensed real-estate agent in New York.

Let’s say you’re looking for a $4,800-a-month no-bedroom in Fidi. It just makes sense that the person showing you the listing is a teenager, right? Why not! Still, Erica Parks is more than a former pageant girl with a passion for location, location, location. She’s also a voice of her generation.

Parks says she was discouraged from using her personal social-media accounts for work, but she found most of her clients — the majority of them Gen Z — by posting listings on her TikTok and Instagram. Were there other culture clashes involved in being a young agent? “Mamdani just added the pied-à-terre tax, and everybody in my industry hates it,” she tells me. “I’m like, ‘You know what? We should be charging the billionaires.’” She prides herself on working with voucher clients and housing at different income levels. “I feel like Gen Z is really going to change the industry, and I think the boomers might not like that too much.”

Whether or not the boomers or, for that matter, the elder millennials, like it, Parks represents the future.

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THE MOVIES

Will the Studios Continue to Pump Out Live-Action Remakes?

Well, yes. Even though they’re not the sure bets they once seemed to be.

I would rather drink a tall glass of my own saliva than sit through the live-action Moana currently in theaters. This seems to be the prevailing sentiment, given the film’s disappointing box-office showing, but that won’t stop the crop of remakes slated for release in the next few years.

As seemingly scattershot as the box-office yields for these films can be, don’t expect live-action remakes of classic animation to turn into a pumpkin anytime soon. A photo-real remake of 2010’s Tangled is scheduled to make theatrical landfall in 2028 and already has fans of the original animated Rapunzel tale’s knickers in a twist. (At issue: Leaked set photos indicate the color of certain banners within the film’s island kingdom of Corona that were purple and gold in the original have been — gasp! — updated to blue and yellow.) Perhaps inevitably, Lilo & Stitch 2 is also in the offing for 2028. And while live-action adaptations of Bambi and The Aristocats (reportedly to be directed by Questlove) and a computer-animated, photorealistic take on Robin Hood were quietly canceled, Disney is moving ahead with filmed reboots of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Aladdin 2.

This article gets into the nitty-gritty of why these movies continue to be made, but my takeaway is that my brain short-circuited somewhere around “The Aristocats (reported to be directed by Questlove).”

Click Your Way Out

• Chef Patty Lee is selling a luck-imbued Rick Owens dress and a pair of sexy jorts.

• Put your tinfoil hat back on, Gaylors: Karlie Kloss is back in the squad.

• Alexis Lewis is more than Mrs. Cory Booker.

• Go behind the scenes of The Odyssey.

• Lots of juicy tidbits in this issue of Book Gossip, including the latest writer to lose their entire mind on Threads.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

I hope that today is the day I finally get to watch The Five Star Weekend.

SCENESTERS

It’s All Right to Be Standing in a Line

Talking to Brock Colyar about investigative reporting on line culture.

This week’s cover story is New York Magazine New York Magazine–ing harder than it has ever New York Magazine’d before (complimentary): a 3,600-word article about where, how, and why people seem to love standing in lines nowadays. I talked to Brock about what went into writing this and which lines they deem worth standing in.

First, most important question: Do you say “on line” (as native New Yorkers do, allegedly), or do you say “in line”?

Oh, I definitely say “in line.” I find the “on line” thing to be somewhat annoying. It sounds too much like being “online,” and, also, “in line” sounds so much better. It’s so much more casual. The rest of the country says “in line.”

While reporting this story, did you eat or drink anything good that you got from standing in a line?

L’Industrie pizza is delicious. Radio Bakery is delicious. Caffè Panna is delicious. That’s why I was somewhat sympathetic to the line people. At least they’re supporting local businesses, and the product is good. Just because it’s viral does not mean that it is overhyped.

What else made you feel sympathetic to the line people?

You know, I kept asking people, “Why are you here?” And the answer was often as simple as “What else am I gonna do?” And that’s true for me, too. On a Monday night, I’m usually at the bar drinking too much or on my couch watching like 1,000 episodes of some television show. Why not waste an hour of your life? It’s not even a waste, that’s the thing. Why not do something proactive and get out of your house and walk to this yogurt place and have dessert? It seems like a totally reasonable thing to do on a Monday night.

What do you make of the theory that people like to wait in lines now because our lives are too streamlined and convenient, and they crave the old-fashioned experience of waiting?

Well, that’s why I get mad at all the people who are line haters. Like, When’s the last time you Uber Eats’d a meal to your apartment? There’s no way it took less than 30 minutes. The only difference is that you’re on your couch and these people got out of their house.

MUSIC

Jay-Z’s Show Last Night Was Late, But Rihanna Was There

The guest stars alone made the three-hour delay more than worthwhile.

Jason P. Frank was at Yankee Stadium last night and he got to see Rihanna perform “Bitch Better Have My Money” solo, so that alone was worth waiting for the security issues at the door to resolve. It’s the first time Rihanna has been onstage since 2023, and she said she “missed this shit,” so maybe she’s finally gonna get back in the studio?! (She’s not.)

The show ultimately started three hours late, at around midnight. “Let me explain the delay to you guys,” Jay told the crowd. “It was like 10,000 people outside, and we closed all the doors, and somebody rushed the door. They closed the door for you guys’ safety and everyone’s safety outside. There’s 10,000 people outside. I don’t want to start the music and people get trampled. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, but I had to make sure everyone was okay. I appreciate your patience.” Once the show kicked off, he made the night worth everybody’s while. Not only did he play his own songs, but Hov brought out an A-list guest list. Beyoncé came out for “Drunk in Love.”

The set also included Teyana Taylor, Usher, Pharrell, and fireworks. Sorry if you missed it!

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SEX

How Editing the ‘Sex Diaries’ Book Changed One Writer’s (Sex) Life

You, too, can become horny again, if you want!

Alyssa Shelasky has edited more than 600 “Sex Diaries.” She’s changed a lot along the way. She used to have a gloriously slutty lifestyle, but then she had a kid. And later on, she found herself in a happily monogamous committed relationship. Boner killers both, but Alyssa found her way back to horniness. There is hope. And it might just be found between the pages of a book.

It turned out that, for me, the best way to stop being a burned-out mom who deprioritizes sex was to simply stop being one. Having many friends in their 40s, and written thousands of words on relationships, I realize it’s generally more complicated than that, but over here … it actually wasn’t. It’s not like I crashed a play party or learned shibari. I just started deliberately thinking about sex more, clocking how hot my partner is and how much I fucking love him, swapping out ratty pajamas for slinkier sets … little adjustments like that. As many of my nonmonogamous diarists already knew, good sex is good for you, and I thank them for the reminder. Let’s just say, she’s back. Different. Definitely still tired. But back.

You don’t have to fully All Fours in order to live hornily.

Click Your Way Out

• There’s a new hot man to be aware of (he’s on House of the Dragon).

• Lindsey Graham picked an inconvenient time to die.

• The abomination that is “live-action Moana” flopped at the box office.

• Taylor Swift’s alleged dog.

• J.Lo has earned the right to wear a giant hat anywhere she wants.

• Olivia Wilde is a good director and also a good writer.

• I can’t wait to retire so I can start climbing icy mountains (not).

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

I love Rihanna so much. She’s so funny, also. Remember “Shy Ronnie”?

ONLINE THINGS

Patti LuPone’s Cursed Gay Cruise

Tales from the strangest ports of call on the internet.

Every week, Becca Schuh harvests tweets for us. This week, we boarded a gay cruise with a Broadway legend, got on the horn with Mitch McConnell, and heard from Aunt Lena.

Patti LuPone had a poetic response to a gay cruise not being let into Turkey.

Left with ambiguous information about Mitch McConnell’s health or lack thereof, the people began to riff.

We are all tired of the wedding discourse, but I found a few nuggets of gold.

I want what they’re having!

Margaret Qualley heard the siren call of Lena Dunham’s wedding speech.

And to tie it all together …

Zohran’s newest malfeasance is that his wife boarded a plane.

I actually think we could fix the dating apps if every man was a former member of the Blue Man Group.

I like it when someone points out the fun parts of the smartphone era because we really do focus on the negative most of the time.

TELEVISION

The New Little House Adaptation Aims for ‘Not Problematic’

A worthwhile attempt to reconcile the pioneer fantasy with reality.

So many artifacts of millennials’ childhoods feel too racist to share with our kids. (Have you tried watching The Jerk recently? Oh my god.) The Little House on the Prairie books are definitely on the “not ready to have that conversation” list at my house, as much as I loved them as a kid. A new TV adaptation tells the story of the Ingalls family but also of the Osage people whose land they were trying to claim, Kathryn VanArendonk writes.

The streamer adaptation is designed to neither undermine Wilder’s account nor discard her child’s-eye point of view. It remains remarkably, improbably hopeful from beginning to end. But its optimism and warmth are not placid, and they’re not easily won. The intent of this adaptation, Gorman Wettels tells me, “is to face the problematic nature of the historical text head-on.” Ma is still terrified of Indians; episode three includes a scene from Wilder’s novel in which two Native Americans storm into the Ingallses’ home while Pa is away and eat all their cornbread. But the whole framing of that scene has shifted. One of the intruders is an Osage man named Little Puma, the uncle of Laura’s best friend, Good Eagle, whose mixed-race family, the Mitchells, are some of the Ingallses’ closest neighbors. This is not the nameless, savage figure of Wilder’s book, and the show takes pains to make clear that his anger and resentment are justified.

Kathryn watched the series with her kids, and I might do the same (if I can pry them away from Glee).

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BEAUTY

How to Stop Wearing Mascara

Step one: Quit applying mascara to your lashes.

Uh-oh, mascara is cheugy now?! That’s what makeup artist Kelli Anne Sewell tells our resident beauty expert Carol Lee. She has created no-mascara looks for Kelsea Ballerini and Alix Earle, and she herself hasn’t worn mascara in a year. You still have to curl your lashes and create a “focal point” somewhere else on your face — your lips, for example. She told Carol why she thinks the trend is happening.

I stopped wearing mascara last year, and now I don’t even think to put it on, even when I’m going out. I’m so used to myself without mascara that when I put it on, I’m like, Oh, I’m done up. There’s something super-edgy about no-mascara looks, and I think it’s a really cool thing to do. It shows a lot of confidence, because it’s paring it back and being really comfortable in your skin, which also comes with the privilege of aging and seeing that you’re beautiful the way you are.

We’re seeing a lot of people dissolving filler and scaling back these overly done, overly enhanced looks. That’s just the way trends work — we snap back from certain extremes. I honestly think no-mascara looks are even more feasible for working women, moms, and people who are like, I want to feel fabulous in five seconds. So while it has a cool-girl vibe to it, I also think it’s a very functional look.

To prevent the people in your life from asking if you’re okay, you can transition to a brown mascara first before quitting entirely. I’m also putting in a plug here for getting a lash lift and tint — for me, it lasts three months. While I used to find the procedure claustrophobic because you have to keep your eyes closed for so long, I now find it downright relaxing.

Click Your Way Out

• Best World Cup ever???

• It can be tough to find “mom friends” when you’re an older mom.

• What The Valley reveals about our culture.

• How did Cynthia Nixon get a “Cynthia Knickson” T-shirt? Sam Irby.

• What does Olivia Rodrigo’s new album smell like?

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

It’s come to my attention that a lot of you have never seen Truth or Dare. Stream it here. This is mandatory.

POLITICS

How Eon Huntley’s Transition From Bergdorf’s Associate to Assemblymember Is Going

I talked about working retail and affording Bed–Stuy with my district’s representative.

A few weeks ago, I was delighted to cast a vote in the primary election for Eon Huntley for Assembly District 56. He campaigned alongside State Senator Jabari Brisport for “universal child care, rent controls, and a Brooklyn every family can afford,” and his win was one of a sweeping wave of DSA victories. He now advances to the general election, running unopposed, and will officially take office in January. He’s also been newly anointed by the Times as one of the “39-ish” most stylish people of the year. We video-chatted about how he’s going to miss some aspects of working at Bergdorf’s, specifically The Row on the women’s floor, and how we’re both worried about affording Bed–Stuy.

What are you doing between now and January?

I still have to pay my bills! It’s still very surreal because I am at my job. Summer is traditionally a slow time for retail but I’m working the same schedule. I’m ready for fall with the new deliveries.

How has working retail prepared you for being in the New York State Assembly?

I’m a friendly person, and that’s a part of being a salesperson. I was a designer for ten years before switching into sales, but I was always really good at communicating with my team. It’s a skill that is very much transferable to this next role.

New York State assemblymembers make $142,000 a year, with outside income capped at $33,000. Will you be taking a pay cut when you take office?

It really depends on the year. I would say that my income will be comparable. The difference is that, in retail, the real income is generated by commission. That requires you grinding every single day in order to achieve sales goals. It’s not about just people walking in. It really is about client engagement and development and building relationships, and that takes a lot of effort. I’ve honestly never worked harder in my life, especially compared to when I was a designer just sitting in my office all day.

What’s your average day like?

I start early in the morning with my family and then I stand up all day. My wife is a public-school teacher and my kids go to school, so first we walk the dog and get the lunchbox and coffee ready and then I go to work from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Then I come home and do it all again. There’s also organizing in between all of that.

When do you sleep?

I’ll sleep when I’m dead. What I ran on, and what I represent, is the reality of my life. It’s not something that I’m doing because it sounds good, it’s because I really understand the struggles of being a working-class person. And yes, you can make a good living doing a job like being a salesperson, but it comes with a cost. I don’t really have weekends off. Those are the demands of capitalism; it requires that we do what it takes in order to survive. Not even to thrive, to survive.

My husband and I both have good jobs but don’t get financial help from our families, and we worry a lot about our rent going up and forcing us out of this neighborhood. What will you do to make the district more affordable?

I share those same fears, and it’s something that I talked about throughout the campaign. We should be building more truly affordable housing, green social housing that’s accessible, the kind of place where you can grow old. I know it’s possible because I grew up in that kind of development in East New York. I’ve lived in Bed–Stuy for over 17 years now, and this is the only place that my daughters have ever called home. I hope that we can get the rent stabilization going and also address the other kind of affordability issues that are not just around housing, but around child care. Our children are older now, but I still remember what it was like to have to make a choice between paying for rent and paying for day care.

What’s the plan for how to pay for this stuff?

We need to tax the rich in order to provide the things that New Yorkers across this state and especially in this district and community need to live the good life that they deserve. That’s the message that this campaign ran on.

HEALTH

IVF Is Harrowing, Expensive, and Sometimes Fruitless

Just because Anne Hathaway’s having a baby at 43 doesn’t mean it’s easy.

When we see headlines about celebrities in their mid-40s having babies, we might be tempted to think we can or should also do so. But the thing about reproductive medicine in America is that a lot of clinics are out to make a buck and won’t turn older women away even if their chances of getting and staying pregnant are very low. As Erica Schwiegershausen reports, after age 45, doing IVF with your own eggs and using untested embryos — which some doctors recommend — has the same odds of leading to a baby as trying naturally: less than one percent.

Sometimes, trying it for yourself is the only way to come to terms with the fact that it isn’t going to work. One woman in Oregon said that after she started doing egg retrievals at 44, she raced to do as many cycles as possible before her 46th birthday — her clinic’s age limit for women using their own eggs. But after nine rounds of IVF, she says a part of her is glad her clinic cut her off. Being turned away helped her accept it was time to stop. Allison also quit IVF at 46. In retrospect, she feels like her clinic didn’t necessarily have her best interest in mind. “They always seem to find a way to frame it as like, ‘A lot of women are doing this, it’s perfectly fine, and your risks are low,’” she says. But at the end of the day, she says, it’s a business: “Their primary motivation is to churn people through this process and make as much profit as they can.”

I always think it’s cool when celebrities are open about using donor eggs or eggs they froze when they were younger.

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INTERIORS

Turn Your Nightmare Bathroom Into a Dream!

“Storage solutions” usually make me cringe, but not these.

The Strategist’s Erin Schwartz is like Marie Kondo except less bossy and more realistic. Five people with crazy bathroom situations sent in photos of their spaces, and he solved their problems using affordable and rental-friendly shelves and caddies and curtains that you can buy at Ikea, the Container Store, and Etsy. Reading this almost inspired me to do something about my own bathroom-storage situation, which is an open closet with four deep shelves next to the sink where I throw items and then forget they exist for up to several years, sometimes buying replacements for them instead of rummaging through the piles in order to find them again. I am definitely going to tackle that at some point, perhaps via modular drawers or vintage safety-deposit boxes from eBay!

Click Your Way Out

• “Anyone who pretends Platner’s candidacy represented an easy moral and philosophical calculation is wrong.”

• Meet Elizabeth Adams, Zohran Mamdani’s bus czar.

• Watching Five Star Weekend “feels like taking your bra off after a long day.” Say less!

• A recipe for Iranian sour-cherry rice with meatballs.

• This woman’s music-producer husband thought their invitation to Taylor Swift’s wedding was a spam text.

• Time to organize a karaoke memorial for Bonnie Tyler.

• A New York Times correction for the ages.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Forever’s gonna start tonight.

AWARDS

Connor Storrie Got Nominated for an Emmy!

As did Kaitlin Olson, whom I unexpectedly have strong feelings about.

As someone who watches a lot of TV, I am heavily invested in the Emmy Awards. So many of my close personal imaginary friends were nominated this morning, it’s overwhelming. Ineligible to be nominated for too-Canadian Heated Rivalry, Connor Storrie still managed to snag a nod for hosting SNL, where he showcased the top-notch clowning abilities described by Allison P. Davis in her definitive encapsulation of the burgeoning and influential L.A. clowning scene. Speaking of clowns, though, I’m going ahead and predicting that Kaitlin Olson will win Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series for Hacks.

That scene in the Amazing Race episode where she and Jean Smart, as her mom, Deborah Vance, had to perform a traditional Mexican clown dance and botch it repeatedly … Only a born physical comedian like Olson could have pulled that sequence off. Whatever you think of Hacks in general, you simply have to hand it to Olson for making DJ — a character who could have been annoying and one-note — hilarious and fully realized. It’s pretty bold of me to predict that she’ll win, given how stacked the category is. She’s up against four other Hacks actresses, all of whom turned in the performances of their respective lifetimes. (I’m even including Laurie Metcalf when I say that! Come at me!!)

Also stiff competition: Betty Gilpin for Widow’s Bay (love her, GLOW forever) and Jamie Lee Curtis for The Bear (whatever). But only Olson, as DJ, has put in the time and effort necessary to win over the Emmy voters over the course of her time on Hacks. It’s also her fourth Emmy nomination and her third for the role. They gotta give it to her this time. I’m placing my Polymarket bet now. (I’m not. I would never do that.)

Other Emmy nominations that I randomly care about: Boerum Hill’s hottest couple, Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell, are both nominated again, Rhys in two different categories for two different roles. Alan Cumming is nominated for hosting The Traitors, which I don’t watch but probably would love because I love him. Jeff Hiller got a richly deserved nod for making the absolute most of his scant amount of screen time in Pluribus. Meg Stalter and Hannah Einbinder go head-to-head in the Supporting Actress category for Hacks. Somewhat hilariously, Billy Crudup was recognized for his work in the best worst show on television, my beloved The Morning Show. Rhea Seehorn should win Best Actress in a Drama for Pluribus, and I say that with all due respect and gitchie gitchies to Carrie Coon.

The actual winners, and not just the winners of my heart, will accept their awards on September 14.

FOOD

Are PopUp Bagels Worth Standing In Line For?

Maybe, if you like your bagels dipped in influencer-branded schmear.

Lining up for fro-yo is almost comprehensible, but lining up for bagels, which can be procured just about anywhere without standing on line, is tougher to swallow. Still, the people love lines, and line up they will for PopUp Bagels, a 40-shop franchise with a social and partnerships director. While the mission of bringing decent bagels to locations where typically none can be found is laudable, Elizabeth G. Dunn did a deep dive into bagel history — it begins in 1600s Krakow — and found evidence that the “bagels” sold at PopUp are not, strictly speaking, even bagels at all. While they are baked on-site, they are formed in a commissary kitchen via a proprietary process that includes both people and machines. A true bagel, Elizabeth learned, must be rolled by hand.

If I wanted to know the single greatest obstacle to making great bagels in Topeka or Tucson, [Utopia Bagels co-owner Jesse] Spellman said, it’s the rolling — a skilled craft he estimates would take a newcomer eight months to learn, and one long controlled by a small, insular labor pool. After New York’s original wave of Jewish immigrants came a Taiwanese and Thai cohort in the ’80s and ’90s, then a Dominican one, families in which fathers, uncles, cousins, and sons all rolled, teaching one another and passing down the trade. That meant a great bagel was, for decades, a fundamentally local product.

Sam Silverman, a New York bagel evangelist and President of BagelUp — a media-and-events company that runs bagel classes, tours, and the annual BagelFest — agrees with Spellman’s diagnosis. “There is a skilled labor pool that has existed in New York City and nowhere else since the late 1800s,” he told me. The old bagel-bakers’ union, he noted, deliberately kept the craft in the family — to learn the trade you had to be the son of a member — which built quality in New York while starving it everywhere else.

For the people in Topeka et al. who are starved for anything remotely resembling a bagel, a PopUp might be a good enough substitute. There is, however, no valid excuse for eating one in New York City.

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DRINKS

You Probably Need a Ninja SLUSHi

It’s a portable, easy-to-use version of the thing they have at 7-Eleven.

Invite Dominique Pariso to your next party and she will bring her Ninja SLUSHi, a cousin of the famous CREAMi that makes perfect, un-melty margaritas and daiquiris (and their virgin cousins) instead of CREAMi’s soft serve. She claims that it’s easy to take apart and clean. It costs $400, but it will make you popular.

So far, I’ve taken it with me to a going-away party in a Bed-Stuy backyard, a pool party on Long Island, and a Fourth of July barbecue. I’ve made mango and passion-fruit margaritas, fresh watermelon slushies, and frozen lemonade. While outdoor hosting has been a bit brutal this summer between the humidity, heat waves, and freak storms, the SLUSHi has been a reliable crowd-pleaser every single time. As Jimmy Buffett would remind us all, “But there’s booze in the blender / And soon it will render / That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.”

Some people claim that I’m to blame for getting that song stuck in their head, but I know it’s Dominique’s fault.

Click Your Way Out

• It’s time for @buzzkillary to update the Lorde PowerPoint: Jack Antonoff and Margaret Qualley are reportedly divorcing.

• In Albania, protestors are up in arms over a pristine island acquired by Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump in a “shady land deal.”

• Is Proud Poland’s answer to Heated Rivalry? Fire up your VPN and find out!

• Bathing suits that cover your butt.

• Author Tomi Adeyemi has disavowed the Paramount adaptation of her novel.

• Naomi Klein, who is not Naomi Wolf, has a new Substack.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Since I’m in charge of the Emmys, I can tell you next year will be dominated by The Shards.

POP GIRLIES

Madonna’s Confessions II Might Make You Weep on the Dance Floor

Get into the groove, then get out the tissues.

Craig Jenkins agrees with me and all the strict old gays: Madonna’s new album is good. And it’s not just danceable; it’s also deep. Calling in all of us who have ever described ourselves as “not religious but definitely, like, spiritual”: remember how Ray of Light made you feel? This is like that.

The nightcap for this dance party of an album takes an honest look at the unforeseen pitfalls and points where success was not a certainty. “Fragile” threads conversations about family and failure into one of the artist’s most personal songs to date. It’s an ode to Christopher Ciccone, Madonna’s younger brother, who had an at times very difficult relationship with his sister before they reconnected ahead of his death in 2024. She wrote it near the end of his battle with cancer. Mortality is an ever-present undercurrent in discourse about Madonna in her late 60s, in which people groan that it’s sad if she posts a risqué photo as if there’s an age when a person should stop feeling great in their body. “Fragile” dismisses a fear of the grave in a voice-over from the singer stating that the end of life is just a “portal we’re going through.”

Sorry to be sentimental on main, but the idea that we live on through the lives we’ve touched really gets me.

SPORTS

How the U.S. Men’s Soccer Team Went From Underdogs to Villains

Add another item to the list of “metaphors for America’s decline.”

The story of the USMNT is, as Will Leitch tells it, profound and oddly poignant. They made it further in the World Cup championship than anyone had dreamed they could, but then Trump bent the rules to intervene on behalf of an ousted player and suddenly their opponents weren’t just playing to win — they were playing to defend the integrity of the whole sport, or maybe the whole world. Of course the U.S. lost.

The USMNT, as I have written for many years, is what Americans always consider themselves to be but never actually are: scrappy underdogs. On the world stage, they’re the perpetually undermanned, outgunned but improving team that is on its way up, a growth stock that’s worth getting in on the ground floor for. It’s a team, as we’ve seen throughout the tournament, that’s extremely likable and potentially ready to take its next step forward. But with one shocking reversal on Sunday — one that had a lot more people around the world talking about the integrity of global football and FIFA than just Belgium’s coach — that all turned around on them: They were the enemies, the bad guys … the empire. The U.S. team was not ready for that. Not many would be.

It was immediately obvious. (A friend joked that the first ten minutes of play felt achingly similar to the first ten minutes of watching Joe Biden on the debate stage two years ago. It was clear we were well and truly fucked.)

Uh-oh! Once again, America is clearly not the victim in the drama being described.

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TAYVIS

Taylor Getting Married at MSG: Good, Actually!

The controversial venue was the only responsible and ethical choice.

Hear Zach Schiffman out: He spent his weekend sweltering outside Madison Square Garden creating content, and he knows whereof he speaks.

To get a brief respite from the heat, I went to the second floor of Roberta’s at One Penn Plaza to see what I could of the venue itself. Looking at the pink curtains draping the sixth floor of MSG, where cocktail hour allegedly took place, I saw the lipstick-on-a-pig nature of the wedding firsthand — the pipe and drape hardly looked gorgeous or intimate from the outside. It was obvious that it required a tremendous production to transform the arena into the couple’s alleged castle-in-a-forest setting. But thanks to the nature of the venue itself, no one was concerned about the aftermath. If Swift had chosen other rumored venues like the Met, the Cloisters, or Governor’s Island, there would have been plenty of chatter about the need to protect these historic sites from whatever horrors a massive wedding like this would entail. Dua Lipa and Callum Turner’s recent Palermo nuptials have already sparked controversy for turning a historic site into a theme park, and that party had only 300 guests. Imagine the potential destruction of a Taylor Swift wedding at some remote Italian island or medieval chapel. MSG? No one made a peep.

MSG is also easy to get to and relatively easy to escape from, which are not things you can say about Rhode Island.

Click Your Way Out

• Take a peek inside Audrey Gelman’s garden-shed home office in Hudson.

• For a small designer, creating a viral bedazzled Labubu was both great and terrible.

• An evisceration of Dalkey Archive Press covers, which is so niche but also so hilarious.

• Effective-altruism advisers are scheming about how to get that Anthropic money.

• Graham Platner situation updates.

• The Biebers’ new West Village apartment is bland but very practical in terms of security and such.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Everybody get up and dance!

TAYVIS WEDDING

What Reporting On Taylor’s Wedding Was Like

Fran Hoepfner spent the weekend hanging out near MSG, and lived to tell.

The thing about Taylor Swift’s MSG wedding is: You have to care about it. Sure, you can maybe choose to abstain from caring about Taylor Swift in the ordinary course of your life, but when she invades midtown Manhattan and invites hundreds of A-listers to celebrate her nuptials … at which Paul McCartney played “I Want To Hold Your Hand,” Adam Sandler officiated, and Lena Dunham made a slightly risky joke … I’m sorry, you simply must care, even if you wish you didn’t!!

Fran Hoepfner did the shoe-leather reporting: she spent several days hanging out in the environs of MSG during a heatwave, chatting with teenage Swifties, paparazzi, and regular Joes who didn’t even know who Taylor was marrying. In the aftermath, I got her on the phone.

Fran, you wrote the first draft of history this weekend. What was it like to be in the room where it happened, or at least on the street somewhat near the room?

This is not a part of the city anyone is actively going to hang out in most of the time. We’re there by necessity to get a train or see a show. And so just to be in that Herald Square, MSG, Penn Station area for eight hours a day two days in a row was hugely overstimulating, and I think it would have been even if this wasn’t happening. There’s everything there and nothing there.

Who was the most interesting person you chatted with?

The teen Swifties that I spoke to on the day of the wedding were the most insightful, because they were the most genuinely enthusiastic, and most immune to the discourse happening around the wedding itself. They were so happy for Taylor and for Taylor’s wedding. They were like, this is bringing up the mood of the city. Everyone is feeling amazing about this, and it’s such a happy, incredible thing that is bringing the city together. That is certainly not how I perceived the event, but it felt to me like a really nice, albeit very, very rose-tinted glasses way of processing what was happening. I thought they were very sweet about it without being, you know, completely crazy.

The most interesting sentiment I heard a couple of different times was this expectation from loyal fans that this should be in some way more public than it is, that this is owed in some ways, which felt like teetering on the edge of a thing that feels increasingly common in fan relationships, which is that fans are aware to some extent that artists are taking advantage of their enthusiasm, but then they’re thinking that on the back end, it’s gonna benefit them at some point. And it’s like, well, no, that’s not how getting taken advantage of works.

On the other hand, she had her wedding in a concert venue, and there were performances. The idea that no one will ever get to see those performances except for the 1200 people who were in MSG feels almost cruel.

The thing that they expressed wanting, which is the Taylor Swift two-hour wedding spectacular streaming now on Disney Plus … that would genuinely stun me if that existed. I feel like we are probably gonna get snippets, like in Instagram carousels for a while, but I just don’t think we’re ever gonna have a full sense of all that went down.

Were there any guests who surprised you?

I felt really happy that Nikki Glaser was there, of all those sort of random celebs to rock up, just ‘cause they have sort of a weird past. Nikki Glaser made a joke about her which wound up in the Taylor doc from 2020, and Glaser apologized and was like, I actually feel really bad that I said this and I’m a fan. And Taylor was like, thanks for apologizing, and Glaser has in turn become a huge Swiftie. That’s the avatar for a lot of fans: someone who enthusiastically loves her, is sometimes kind of mean about her, but ultimately gets to enjoy this thing.

Anything you personally want to see from the wedding that Taylor is gatekeeping from her deserving fans?

I really need her to post the dress.

SPORTS

How Does Karl Ove Knausgaard Feel About Norway’s World Cup Team?

Admit it: you’ve been wondering.

Ryu Spaeth got Norway’s number one literary export on the horn to discuss Norway’s number one soccer star: center forward Erling Haaland, who Ryu describes as “a blunt-faced, flowing-maned phenom who you can easily imagine reaving enemy villages alongside his Norse ancestors back in the Dark Ages.” Knausgaard is a big soccer fan, so he was probably delighted when Norway beat Brazil on Sunday and got to do their victory Viking rowing shtick. And doubtless he’ll be intently watching their next match, against England this weekend in Miami. As Knausgaard told Ryu, he’s an especially big Haaland fan because of Haaland’s literary bona fides.

I first became aware of him when I think he scored nine goals in a youth national team game. So it was something sensational surrounding him from the very beginning. He’s always had pressure, but he’s dealing with it in an amazing way. He’s funny, he’s friendly, he’s well-liked, he can play with his status. And he has got an extra star in my book because he bought a book, Snorri Sturluson’s saga. It’s this old Norse history book. It was worth millions. And he bought it and donated it to the library where he comes from. He does things like that. He cares about the people around him.

Good luck, Norway! Win it for Karl Ove!

MUSIC

Wet Leg’s Rhian Teasdale Is Your Next Crush

Meet the singer of that song you love from the Heated Rivalry soundtrack.

Rhian Teasdale has a delightfully confrontational performance style and brash, funny lyrics. And she’s queer. What’s not to love? Frankly, nothing. She told Cat Zhang that making music shouldn’t be gatekept by some snobby dudes.

The first song I ever tried to play on guitar was ‘Molly’s Chambers’ by Kings of Leon — back when the band was super-trashy and fun. It was a real epiphany to learn that you don’t have to be a virtuoso guitarist to enjoy playing music with your friends. It’s been a bit of a journey demystifying music-making for myself. I’m not from a musical household, and I even got kicked out of my GCSE music course because I was too far behind the rest of the class, which is kinda hilarious. There are so many loser gatekeepers who want you to believe that you need 20-plus chords in a song for it to be worthy. In reality there are so many bangin’ songs that literally are just two chords.

A deluxe version of Wet Leg’s second album moisturizer is out July 10th.

Click Your Way Out

• Trump may have intervened in a World Cup suspension on the USA team’s behalf.

• Patti LuPone wrote an instantly canonical social media post.

• Madonna’s new album is good.

• For MAGA types, being Catholic is so hot right now.

• Bad Bunny looked flawless at a Paris Couture Week show.

• A new (old) Beyonce song.

• Gowanus welcomes new glowing bear sculptures.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

  ---

I cannot wait to immerse my brain in the televisual bubble bath of The Five Star Weekend.

ONLINE THINGS

Say ‘Semiquincentennial’ Five Times Fast

Here are the tweets that made us say “Okay, sure” this week.

Every week, we check in with Becca Schuh to see what’s happening on her timeline. This week, as we know, Pride went out with a bang and July began with a series of whimpers. Also, I don’t know if you’ve heard anything about this, but Taylor Swift is getting married.

July Fourth is always a strange holiday, but this year, it’s extra strange, thanks to the word semiquincentennial, Taylor Swift, and new levels of corporate Pride.

The semiquincentennial x Pride mash-up is responsible for enormous content.

Curtis Sliwa vowed to be at every parade and is true to his word.

And of course, corporate Pride is always bringing something unique to the table.

This is the most dark-sided semiquincentennial manifestation thus far.

Zohran jumped into a pool in his suit, and everyone got wet. (Sorry.)

He’s just being cute all over the city, per uzh!!

I don’t know about this casting choice, but I’m willing to give it a chance.

Gracie Abrams weighed in on her own nepo-baby-ness while dressed as a British PM.

There is no shortage of predictions about how this whole MSG wedding thing is actually going to go down.

Even Taylor Swift can’t top this but don’t think she won’t try.

BOOK GOSSIP

Robinne Lee Refuses the ‘Romance Novelist’ Label

Her novels are more complex than the movie version of The Idea of You.

The Idea of You wasn’t a hit when the book was published in 2017, but it became a BookTok sensation in 2020 and a movie version with Anne Hathaway and Nicholas Galitzine came out in 2024. Unlike the book, the movie has a “saccharine epilogue” that gives the characters the happily ever after BookTokers craved. Even though the book has now sold over a million copies, author Robinne Lee has issues with the way her characters were toned down for the film, writes Allison P. Davis. She recently spent time with Lee in Paris as the author prepares for the publication of her next novel, Crash Into Me.

Cecilia is adrift, her marriage on the rocks, when she reunites with Anouk, a supermodel with whom she has a complicated past. Their relationship starts with not a meet-cute but a car crash in which one of the love interests almost dies and the other is so smitten she doesn’t realize how deep the gash on her head is until she sees the blood. From there, a rekindled friendship between the two women quickly gives way to an intense, steamy romance. “I’m Gen X; we get so stuck on labels,” she says when I ask her about the novel’s queerness. “I think if I’d been born into another generation, I would have likely explored that side of me more, because I wouldn’t have been concerned about the associated stigmas.”

The book establishes Lee’s trademarks as a writer. She favors luxurious settings with international backdrops where sex is inevitable but stability isn’t. Her characters are sophisticated, rich, worldly, and driven by their passion. Her sex scenes are so visceral and well crafted you might have to take masturbation breaks — where is the literary award for that?

Though no such award currently exists, I am confident that, with your support, Allison and I can create a nonprofit foundation that will award it annually. We will also sit on the judging panel.

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MEN’S FASHION

A Picky Guy’s Guide to Not-Too-Formal Dress Shirts

Treat yourself to a fun shopping experience on the Upper East Side.

Do you own a nice but not too nice white button-down that’s lightweight enough to wear in the summertime, men? If not, hie thee to the UES, says Michael Zhao.

My general advice for any shirt meant to be worn with a suit is to make sure you get it tailored, which means shopping somewhere that will do it for you or budgeting an extra $80 to get it done by a tailor. To that end, I’ve been sending a lot of my friends to the Upper East Side lately since Sid Mashburn and Ralph Lauren both offer free alterations on full-price purchases and are just a few blocks apart and the Armoury flagship is also nearby. It’s the perfect excuse to check what’s new at the Met and grab a burger at JG Melon.

Almost anyone looks good in a white button-down, especially one that demurely toes the “visible nips” line.

Click Your Way Out

• The metaphor for our crumbling democracy that is the “Arc de Trump” is getting increasingly belabored.

• As a millennial woman, do you find yourself with a shortage of things to worry about? Enter: shingles!

• Dua Lipa is gonna read Stone Butch Blues.

• Veteran wedding planners have some advice for Taylor Swift.

• Oh no, the members of an Amagansett yacht club are feuding.

• I have never clicked “buy” faster — Olivia Rodrigo LEGOs are perfect for the 8-year-old Livie in your (my) life.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

As you celebrate this weekend, pour one out for the reporters who will be hard at work on a holiday covering Taylor Swift’s wedding.

ONLINE THINGS

A Homegrown Startup Is Looking to Disrupt Virality

Venture-backed bot farms aren’t just for China and Russia anymore.

Meet a new nightmare person: 21-year-old Doublespeed founder Zuhair Lakhani, whose business is generating AI personae to promote your product on X and TikTok. Rebecca Jennings reports that he has no problem with “leaning into the dystopian feeling” of his company.

At several points, Lakhani hints at ways I could generate interest in this article. “If you guys make it dystopian, it’ll really work out as a good story, I think,” he says during our first video call. “If you need any juicy content ideas, we can definitely help manufacture those as well,” he tells me at the phone farm. Later, he sends me an email with ideas for headlines using words that have “proven to be good hooks in the past,” which include “The 21-Year-Old Making Millions Selling Fake People,” “Propaganda As a Service: The Tech Frat House Running Your Feed,” and “The USC Dropout Selling Your Attention for Millions.”

For now, these headlines are not true: Doublespeed has yet to “meaningfully contribute to the enshittification of social media.” But isn’t it great to know that it’s trying its best to do so?

TECH

Spend Half a Grand on a Device That Tracks Your Doodoo?

Finally, an app that connects to a camera in your toilet bowl!

Your Oura Ring and Apple Watch can’t record the “data points that we’re literally flushing down the toilet,” says Nora Tophof, managing director of Kohler Health. Her company is behind the “Dekoda,” Erica Schwiegershausen reports.

Given the current fixation on gut health, it was only a matter of time until someone created a biotracker to analyze everything that exits your colon. The Dekoda is a sleek device that attaches to the inside of your toilet, with “discreet lenses” that point down at the bowl (“and nowhere else,” the company takes pains to emphasize). For $449, plus $70 a year for the Kohler Health app, the camera records every time you use the bathroom, and then uses AI to analyze the contents of your toilet bowl and give you “personalized insights” into your hydration levels and stool frequency, texture, and quantity. It’s not the only luxury poop-tracker on the market: Last year, the Japanese brand Toto launched a smart toilet with a built-in stool scanner.

Morrissey really was onto something when he sang, “Come, come, nuclear bomb.”

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FASHION

Go Ahead, Show Some Toe

Who let the dogs out? You, in these sandals.

As you probably recall, our men’s style editor, Sam Hine, has a strict no-sandals policy for himself — except during a record-breaking heat wave. Perhaps you’re also overcoming your aversion to open-toed footwear. If so, Erin Schwartz has compiled a list of 29 plausible solutions to your footwear problems, ranging from drugstore slides to jelly mules to some kind of steampunk spring-loaded platform that Erin found while searching for “masc heels.” My own favorites from this truly comprehensive list include the $50 Montbell sandals that senior writer Michael Zhao found while surfing in France and the Croc slides that stylist Laura Ferrara found at T.J. Maxx. I know you’re dubious about that last one, but just go look at them and you’ll see why she’s always encountering people who think they’re from The Row. And if you’re podiatrically blessed enough to wear a zero-support slide, the Vince jelly sandals have a leather sole. Just please, for the sake of my sanity, don’t buy those Steve Madden black platform sandals around me. Whenever I see them I worry that I have stumbled into a time vortex and will now have to relive my senior year of high school.

Click Your Way Out

• It’s too hot to cook, so go visit some new restaurants.

• July’s subscriber perk arrives just in time to beat the heat: a free scoop of Salt & Straw ice cream.

• Would you like to live in an extremely pink house?

• A match made in heaven.

• If you’re between a soft masc and a baby futch, these are the flats for you.

• Perhaps you would like to understand the Supreme Court better.

• Before we had smartphones, we spent a lot of time waiting around.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

If you obeyed my orders and watched NSFW yesterday, please let me know what you think about it at dinnerparty@nymag.com!

AMERICA

The ‘Great American State Fair’ Is Donald Trump’s Fyre Festival

At least it’s a boon to writers in search of poignant symbols of America’s decline.

Here are some of the things you can experience at the “Great American State Fair” happening right now in our nation’s deeply cursed capital: sparse attendance; empty booths, courtesy of the 11 states that declined to participate; a Confederate flag (shocker); power outages that have left ice cream melted; a canceled Vanilla Ice performance; and most of all, a too-on-the-nose metaphor for a democracy that’s falling apart.

The Great American State Fair’s most iconic attraction is also the most unnecessary. No one needed to see a smaller-scale model of Trump’s proposed arch because (a) it may never be built, and (b) he’s already shared plenty of models and renderings of his controversial vanity project. But for some reason, a pathetic mock-up of the “Arc de Trump” is featured prominently on one end of the National Mall.

The model is actually even more embarrassing than it initially appears. The New York Times noted on Saturday, “Its vinyl covering — stapled over a wood frame and emblazoned with the words ‘One Nation Under God’ — had already started buckling.”

The whole shebang is leading up to a Trump rally accompanied by a massive Fourth of July fireworks display. I hope nothing humiliating and overly symbolic happens.

THE HAMPTONS ISSUE

Meet the ‘Farm Apprentice’ Living on $17.50 an Hour in the Hamptons

It’s nice to go to the beach, but is it worth living on food stamps?

Clio Chang interviewed some of the workers who make rich Hamptonites’ lives possible about their own living conditions. The consensus is that the amount of money they’re able to earn in one summer makes it worthwhile to, for example, sleep on a boat or pull double duty as a chef and a babysitter. But I was concerned about one interviewee who “apprenticed” on a farm and was paid just above minimum wage, yet also had to pay $900 a month for shared housing.

When I applied to work at this local farm, in my head, I was like, Oh cool, farm by the beach! It was an apprenticeship where they train you on tractors and stuff, and when you’re done, you’re basically able to manage a farm. The housing they provided us was subsidized but not free. Truly, I think it was the best they could do, but it sucks because we’re already getting paid so little and then $900 would get taken out of our check for rent. The place was a cute little four-bedroom house by the beach. It was furnished, and I had my own bedroom. Farmers are actually so good at cleaning up; we’re in work mode all the time. We got a ton of veggies from the farm and shopped at the IGA. I ended up applying for food stamps — I was definitely below the poverty line — and I don’t know if I did it wrong or something, but they only gave me $23 per month. I was like, “$23 gets you one bag of coffee and a thing of ground beef in the Hamptons. What are you talking about?”

Congratulations to this person on their budding career in farm management, but I don’t think any of that sounds like a good idea.

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TELEVISION

NSFW Is a Perfect Heat-Wave Binge Show

Is it perfect or even “good”? No. Is it watchable? Eminently.

In his review of Mindy Kaling’s latest sitcom, Hulu’s Not Suitable For Work, Jackson McHenry delivers a compelling evisceration of the show’s failings. Yes, it was originally titled Murray Hill, which is the neighborhood where New York’s most “basic bitches — a gender-neutral term” — live and love. And yes, its characters embody that stereotype to the fullest (except that they are all genuinely hot, not merely young and thin). And yes, the show “does indeed center on a bunch of young people who live in apartments across the hall from one another in an arrangement that is as close as you can get to Friends before a copyright lawyer gets worried.” Jackson is entirely correct when he asserts that “the powerful desire to find a way to belong, even if it means making yourself boring — or admitting to yourself in the process that you want to be boring — lies at the root of Kaling’s game as a writer and performer.” If you’re tired of watching pretty, talented actors discover that they need to sand off their rough edges to make it in high school, college, sports marketing, or the Big Apple, then you do not want to watch a Mindy Kaling show. But what if you’ll never be sick of it? Have I got a show for you!!

Unlike Jackson, I enjoyed the nine episodes I spent in the company of Abby (Avantika Vandanapu) and AJ (Ella Hunt). They both have faces that are very fun to watch, and I found their predictable romantic and professional hurdles delightful. Should aspiring stylist Abby succumb to the advances of the himbo actor who’s her only client? Should AJ have an affair with her bad-boy boss at the investment bank? Or should they instead date the boys who live across the hall, all of whom are decently attractive and clever? The plot grooves may be well worn, but the writing is much sharper than it is on most sitcoms (haha, Mindy, I see what you did there with that joke about B.J. Novak and ’shrooms). And there are plenty of perfectly cast character actors, like Judy Gold and Victor Garber as PBS boss-types and my Grey’s Anatomy fave Greg “Dr. Tom Koracick” Germann as Josh’s media-mogul dad.

Perhaps most crucially to me, a person who longs to dissociate, NSFW never veers anywhere remotely near the real world. In other shows about 20-somethings trying to make it in the big city — I’m looking at you, I Love L.A. — we’re confronted with plotlines about addiction, financial instability, job insecurity, and mental illness, all the things I come to television to avoid thinking about, unless I’m watching a Prestige Show wherein an Auteur handles them Deftly. NSFW didn’t make me laugh, but it also didn’t make me think. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

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• Three luxury designers who are bucking industry trends and staying relevant.

• Taylor Swift’s guest list.

• Everything you need to know to get hyped for Bosnia and Herzegovina vs. USA.

• Today’s Book Gossip newsletter is very good; lots of detailed financial dish from author Daniel Lavery.

• Bare nails (which can also mean nude-polished nails) are a status symbol to some, but the trend has been derided as racist.

• Enter this Strategist giveaway to potentially win a stylish side table.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

I hope NSFW gets a season two so we can see whether AJ (Rachel) chooses Davis (Ross) or Josh (Chandler)!

POP GIRLIES

Let’s Place Bets on Taylor Swift’s Wedding Dress

It’ll definitely be Ralph Lauren, unless it’s Vivienne Westwood, Monse, or Dior.

Okay, there’s no real consensus on the designer or designers Taylor will wear during her nuptials, which will almost certainly take place this weekend at MSG. But the sleuths at The Cut do think they can predict the shape of things to come — dress-wise, at least.

A corset and A-line princess-type dress seems quite possible. Because if she does opt for a callback on her wedding day (and we know she loves a self-reference), my suggestion — and entirely biased yet educated guess — would be that she references her greatest music video of all time: “Love Story.” It’s evident Swift and Kelce understand themselves to be the prince and princess of pop culture, so there is truly no better time to dig up lyrics like “You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess / It’s a love story, baby, just say ‘yes,’” than on their own wedding day. Furthermore, the classic corseted silhouette featured in this Regency-era video is one Swift loves. The brands at the pinnacle of corsetry, like Wiederhoeft and Westwood, have made custom garments for Taylor in the past, and it’s a shape she returns to over and over. If I could, I’d put money on her coming down the aisle in a strapless or off-the-shoulder dress with boning throughout the torso, cinched at the waist, mild draping at the hips, leading to an A-line ball gown down below. If I turn out to be wrong, pretend I wasn’t.

We’ll be keeping a close eye on this situation as it develops.

MEN’S LOOKS

What Was Hot at Men’s Fashion Week Besides the Temperature?

Our new men’s style editor, Sam Hine, dishes about his sweaty time in the glamour trenches.

On the hottest day in France’s recorded history, models strutted and audiences wilted at fashion shows, and Sam Hine was there to take it all in. He was also in Milan, where he talked to Thom Browne about looksmaxxing. Braving the un-air-conditioned environs, he broke his own style rules and showed some toe. We chatted on Friday about how men should look and which designers served the best cool treats.

Sam, what are you wearing right now? I hope it’s a breathable mesh garment.

I’m wearing a small T-shirt and short shorts and some Repetto tiny shoes, basically. Just trying to minimize the amount of skin that’s touching anything. Paris Fashion Week is a collection of people who usually really like to dress up. When it’s 80 degrees or 90 degrees in Paris, you’ll see people at shows wearing shearling jackets. One hundred and four degrees is a different ball game. Everyone’s kind of given up on dressing up. It’s a great equalizer.

What’s the vibe, other than hot?

It’s a sport at Fashion Week to complain about the traffic and how late the shows are starting and how busy it is, and so you would think that the heat would be the only thing people could talk about. But weirdly, everyone’s kind of taken it in stride. Not to be too kumbaya, but we’re all in it together, and by we, I mean everyone at every level who is involved in Fashion Week, from the editors to the publicists to the models to the staff backstage, the hair and makeup people, the designers themselves. Everyone is suffering through it at the same time, and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’ve been struck by how seamless it’s been despite the historically gnarly conditions.

Trend-wise, is there a story that’s emerging from the shows you’ve seen?

A couple of designers have spoken about or have shown clothes that look and feel quite light, a little weightless, even sheer. I have to say, when you’re sweating your butt off at a show and you see a blazer that’s made out of fabric that’s so fine you can see through it, it looks really nice because you’re like, I can’t imagine wearing anything that would be any bit heavier than that. And we’ve seen a lot of flip-flops.

Would you wear flip-flops out in public?

Fashion people want to dress up and flex on everyone else, and this week, you just can’t. So I gave up my aversion to wearing open-toed footwear in public because I tried to wear boots and it was so, so disgusting. I switched to my sandals that I brought, and I was so happy.

What have the designers done to help people cool off?

There have been some amusing and inventive ways that brands have tried to cool down the guests at fashion shows. I now have a collection of folding hand fans. I think I have about seven of them in my bag because every brand is handing them out when you arrive. There was a show last night where one of the PRs working for the brand came and sprayed my face with a misting spray every couple of minutes, which was really nice. When you walk into a showroom or venue, they like to give you a treat. I had beautiful strawberries at Dior the other day, some nice iced coffee at The Row, and gelato elsewhere. One brand gave out watermelon juice, which is really, really refreshing.

What are you looking forward to in your new job here at the magazine?

The men’s fashion issue that we’re putting out at the end of September and my newsletter. And I’m looking forward to being a resource for New York Magazine staffers whenever they have questions about where to buy a suit.

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TELEVISION

Dark Days at the Today Show

Irin Carmon takes us inside the tragedy-tinged set.

How does a morning show that’s supposed to be relentlessly upbeat and optimistic handle the situation when one of its most prominent anchors is dealing with her mother’s likely kidnapping? Especially when sharing details about their lives and families had previously been considered a normal and harmless part of a Today anchor’s job description?

“The show doesn’t like to talk about things that are deep or complicated or sad,” a junior staffer said. “What it tries to do is make the world a two-dimensional, happy thing. Talking about anything sad spoils the fantasy.” When Nancy first disappeared, she said, “I couldn’t imagine Savannah coming back and being happy and laughing ever again.” A senior person on the show said that most everyone had felt the same: “There was a period of time where if you polled the newsroom, the majority would have told you they’d be stunned if she returned.”

The show has been, in some ways, transformed by Savannah Guthrie’s return, forcing it to reckon in real time with what happens when a public person experiences a life-altering event.

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• Hanging out with Kate O’Flynn, Widow’s Bay’s delightful Patricia.

• The house in Maddie’s Secret is John Early’s actual house. See how it was transformed.

• Meet the Trump aide who scares her co-workers with the extent of her devotion.

• Instead of reform, ICE is getting an enormous windfall.

• Sapphic dating don’ts.

• Hiring people to do your chores with disastrous results.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Happy week of Taylor Swift’s long-threatened wedding to all who celebrate, and also to all who do not.

ONLINE THINGS

The European Heat Wave Is Melting Twitter

Becca Schuh documents what it’s like to be both on the internet and abroad.

Becca is in France, which means she’s been experiencing a historic and lethal heat wave. Persevering heroically, she has found some tweets to share with us that convey the situation in the way only tweets can. (For a dispatch from men’s Fashion Week, here’s Sam Hine’s report.)

It’s somehow weirder, worse, better, and more unhinged than even this can communicate.

This is actually the exact type of brain malfunction that the canicule causes.

Literally the only reward for the sweat lodge that is Paris is these vibes at the Canal St. Martin.

As if this weren’t enough going on in Paris, Club Chalamet got attacked by a fellow celeb stalker outside a hotel?!

It is not only Paris that is in chaos mode. It is also Great Britain.

Also, I hear you guys had an election back in New York?

THE HAMPTONS ISSUE

Pity the Adult Children Summering at Their Parents’ Hamptons Homes!

No sarcasm, it sounds like an absolute nightmare.

If your parents bought a house in the Hamptons long ago, when ordinary people could still do that, it kind of makes sense to use your vacation days to visit them or even to live there for a while in the summer, as Lucy Boyle does. But beyond the inevitable tiffs about laundry and using coasters, there are also the class tensions that arise between the middle-class 40-somethings staying with mom and dad and the beyond-moneyed 40-somethings who own their Hamptons homes.

Lind’s parents bought their first house on Shelter Island for $64,000 in 1980. The average home price in the area is now over $2 million. Summer rentals start at around $15,000 a month. So for many downwardly mobile millennials looking to re-create their childhoods with their own kids, staying with Mom and Dad is the only viable option. “I think there is this interesting dynamic of people who grew up coming out here as children,” says Lind. “You know who your peers were, who you grew up with there. And then there’s all these other people who are now in their 40s who have actually purchased their own houses themselves, and you don’t know who they are. So you’re kind of like, ‘Hi, I’m a writer. You must be a venture capitalist.’”

Is a free vacation worth daily ego death?

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BOOKS

Hannah Murray Wrote a Great Book About Going Nuts

In an interview, the actress gets candid about acting, writing, and mental illness.

Immediately before being hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Skins and Game of Thrones actress Hannah Murray had been drawn into a wellness cult that focused on energy healing. In her new memoir, The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness, Murray describes the experience in a way that has resonated with readers who are familiar with psychosis. Fran Hoepfner talked to her about the seven years she spent writing the book, going back to school for creative writing, and the inherent weirdness of writing and acting.

I do think there’s something about creative work where I look at this book now, and I’m like, Where did you come from? There’s things I see in it that I didn’t intentionally do. I think that can feel very magical. But also: Acting is a weird job. Writing is a weird job. It’s a strange thing to go deep into imaginative worlds, or your own memories, and examine them from all these different angles and construct something for people to read. We require overactive imaginations in those industries, which can be a really wonderful thing, but also I think my imagination could be so vivid that it made me vulnerable in certain ways.

As someone of both “loving Skins” and “psychotic break” experience, I’m so excited to read this!

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• Zohran Mamdani promised, and delivered, a rent freeze on 1 million rent-stabilized apartments.

• A detailed, wonky interview with Darializa Avila Chevalier about housing and Harlem.

• Meta is getting into prediction markets as a last-ditch attempt to keep us feeding it our information in exchange for nothing.

• The last day of Prime Day is your chance to get discounted, Strat-endorsed candles or tea kettles or vacuums or headphones.

• Eight things you should never say to anyone.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

School’s out for summer! It’s Pride weekend! The Mets are playing the Phillies tonight! Congratulations to all of us simply for being alive!

POLITICS

Selfies With Zohran Got Out the Vote

In advance of Tuesday’s primaries, our mayor savvily weaponized his charm.

Mainstream Democrats had been feeling hopeful in the days leading up to the primaries, writes Dave Freedlander. Early-vote turnout was weak, and the people who were voting were older, which seemed to signal that incumbents and centrist candidates had a shot. But then Zohran Mamdani and Claire Valdez and their supporters marched across Bushwick and popped up at bars and clubs, and it gradually became clear that our mayor’s overwhelming rizz was going to be a meaningful game changer.

Mamdani’s political team sincerely believes him to be a singular figure. He is clearly a generational political talent. But he is also a politician with a rare unbridled enthusiasm for campaigning — leading him to spend huge amounts of time stumping for his candidates. When the early-vote numbers in a rapidly gentrifying corner of Brooklyn showed weakness for Claire Valdez, Mamdani marched with her across a portion of the district. During the day, he stood at the head of a selfie line where anyone who showed up with an “I Voted” sticker could pose for a pic with the mayor. In the evening, he hit a half-dozen Bushwick bars and nightclubs to rally enthusiasm for her. Hundreds participated in the march, and as they waited on line, campaign aides asked them to text ten of their friends to remind them to vote and to vote for the entire slate of Mamdani-backed candidates. All of those selfies were then shared across social media thousands and thousands of times.

The phenomenon is mostly contained to the five boroughs, Dave concludes, but the message those wins sent to the world outside Mamdanistan is getting harder to ignore.

MONEY THINGS

Should Wealthy Boomer Parents Give Their Kids Money?

It’s not a question with a straightforward answer, unfortunately.

Our financial-advice columnist Charlotte Cowles tackles this thorny beast today. She talked to a bunch of millennials who are dealing with the financial reality of the world and, in some cases, resenting the fact that their parents own yachts. Chloe’s parents saddled her with 80 grand in student debt before she was old enough to understand what she was doing, and now they’re not helping her pay it off even though they own boats, plural.

“I’m happy that my parents are doing so well,” Chloe says. “They’ve worked hard and they’ve built a great life for themselves. But also, what the hell? Why did you buy a yacht instead of helping your kids pay off their student loans that you signed them up for?” Chloe’s two siblings are in a similar position — overburdened by debt that they didn’t know they had until it was too late. “As a result, we are all pretty behind in life, financially. It’s definitely held us back in terms of our savings potential. We’ve all got good careers, but none of us own homes,” says Chloe.

Even in Chloe’s case, if her parents did help her pay off her loans, she’d then feel indebted to these jerks. There’s really no winning where money is concerned. I guess the silver lining is getting to borrow the yacht? Maybe?

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MUSIC

Justice for the Real Voice of Josie and the Pussycats!

Letters to Cleo’s front woman is fighting to be fairly compensated for her work in the cult classic.

Josie and the Pussycats, the 2001 movie about a girl rock band, is rightly considered a must-watch movie that was ahead of its time satirically and also has actually excellent songs. (The movie also features one of Parker Posey’s best roles as villainous Fiona.) The voice coming out of Rachael Leigh Cook’s mouth belongs to Letters to Cleo’s Kay Hanley, who told Devon Ivie that she has been paid only $1,500 for her work in the film. She’s now waging a legal battle to get paid adequately and to keep her SAG health insurance. Learn from her example, young musicians:

Ultimately, you have to know if your voice is going to be on film. What are your rights there? If your voice is being broadcast anywhere, your fee pays for that first use. Any recurring use after, the production gets paid, and you get paid for that. But my simple advice for anyone in this industry is to make sure you’re filling out your SAG paperwork. The voice-over studio should be presenting you with your paperwork every day if you’re doing voice-over. I know how all of this works, and I still wasn’t making the connection between what I was doing over decades of work and what I did on Josie and the Pussycats. It took me 25 years to realize me not getting paid residuals was messed up. And it’s because I really didn’t understand the job I did back then. If I can miss these things, I can’t imagine how widespread it is.

I hope things work out for her, and I also now want to rewatch this fine film. Her vocals can also be found in 10 Things I Hate About You.

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• Nightmare blunt rotation: A weekend in the Hamptons with 100 girlbosses.

• From perfect carnitas to the butteriest brioche to frog legs Kiev: Our critics reveal the best bites in the city right now.

• Taylor Frankie Paul’s season of The Bachelorette may yet see the light of day, because honestly why would the network leave money on the table.

• The snacks we eat even though we know they’ll hurt our stomachs. It’s a metaphor.

• The best quitting-drinking essay I’ve ever read.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

This newsletter is always guaranteed to be Meta spon free.

POLITICS

The Commie Corridor Is Now the Commie Concourse

The DSA candidates endorsed by Mamdani won a meaningful victory last night.

Brad Lander was expected to win his congressional race against Dan Goldman, but Claire Valdez’s victory over former Brooklyn borough president Antonio Reynoso was much less of a sure thing. And Darializa Avila Chevalier’s nail-biter of an edge over five-term incumbent Adriano Espaillat was the most exciting victory of the night, hard-fought by DSA volunteers who worked to get out the vote. She was perhaps aided by her opponent’s attempt at dinging her reputation by bringing up old tweets, one of which read “fuck Kamala Harris.” The campaign mailer with her image and those words on them is now a collector’s item. In my own district, State Senator Jabari Brisport triumphed over a challenge from a centrist candidate, and Eon Huntley defeated incumbent Stefani Zinerman even though the latter was backed by Hakeem Jeffries and Letitia James. “The Commie Corridor has widened to become the Commie Concourse. The People’s Republic of Northern Bed Stuy has been established. Join DSA. We have a world to win,” Brisport tweeted.

If anything, Zohran Mamdani understated the explosive expansion of his new governing coalition — especially the field army of activists from the Democratic Socialists of America — and the collapse of old alliances that have long powered New York politics. “What you’re going to see is a referendum on just how frustrated people are,” Morris Katz, a Mamdani strategist, told me the night before the primary.

Turns out: very frustrated!

MOVIES

Olivia Wilde Reads Eve Babitz and Carrie Fisher

It isn’t really a surprise that the director of Booksmart is literate.

Stars, in some ways, are just like us. Who hasn’t lived through a breakup, an internet pile-on, and having their work fundamentally misunderstood? And who hasn’t recovered via traveling the world and reading great memoirs by lust-for-life–y women?

After Don’t Worry Darling, Wilde took a few years to rebuild herself and do some therapy. She read books by Eve Babitz and Carrie Fisher and started journaling. “I don’t think you know what you’re made of until you fall apart. I don’t trust anyone who hasn’t had their heart broken,” she says. “If you can push through the moment you have previously identified as the worst possible thing that could happen to you, whether that is divorce or the internet hating you or whatever, you are forged into something way better than you could have possibly imagined.”

Wilde also identifies as “the easy parent” (compared to ex Jason Sudeikis) and recently let one of her kids stay home from school because he looked at her like he really needed it. Apart from her superhuman beauty and international stardom, she is not too dissimilar from you and me. I am assuming that she also read Slow Days, Fast Company and Postcards From the Edge.

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ADVICE

Go Have Romantic International Breakup Sex

Amy Rose gives tips to someone who was obviously going to do that anyway.

In today’s “Going Through It,” a reader asks Amy Rose Spiegel whether it’s okay to go on a long-booked trip to Greece with her ex-boyfriend, even though they’ve broken up because she wants kids and he’s not ready. The answer: Yes, by all means, go have sex with your ex in Greece, obviously. But also have an escape plan at the ready, to which end Amy Rose suggests going solo to … Albania!

In nearby Albania, the country’s biggest protests to date are underway as Jared and Ivanka plan to obliterate defining elements of its people’s autonomy, livelihood, culture, history, and ecology. If the Kushners get their way, some areas will be permanently blighted by the imperial tyranny of American Real Estate: Beach Party. Go see Albania and spend money in support of people and their businesses in opposition to the land grab they’re facing.

It’s an amazing place. When I took the ferry from Corfu to Sarandë, border control included inspection from a calico cat that awoke briefly on top of a metal detector as I walked through it. That night, I was taught a very difficult (… to me) line dance at a family restaurant after many friendly rounds of rakia, shuffling in a linked-arm circle as an old man established my belief that one can be the Prince of the electric-clarinet solo. (To my perpetual shame, I had not previously thought all that much about the electric clarinet.) What ex? The best cure for love is “the world.”

I love it when an advice column goes on a side quest.

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• Hanging out with Jalen Brunson, post-championship win.

• Jason P. Frank (gay Isaac Chotiner) asks Odyssey translator Emily Wilson the tough questions.

• Former mayor Eric Adams’s top adviser, Frank Carone, was arrested on bribery charges.

• Shop some chic outfits from Clemence Poles Farhang’s closet.

• Behind the scenes at SubwayTakes!

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Is your body ready for “DSA won Knicks won Pride Weekend”? It’s not too late to book a waxing appointment.

RICH-PEOPLE THINGS

Christophe de Menil’s Glamorous Life Had a Tragic Finale

This sort of thing makes one glad to not be in the world of art, wealth, or horses.

From the “Hamptons Issue” comes the sad tale of arts patron Christophe de Menil — grandmother of artist Dash Snow, rescuer of the Hampton Classic — who was allegedly held captive in her Upper East Side apartment for years by her daughter, Taya Thurman (yes, Uma is her half-sister). Decades earlier, Thurman had broken ties with her mother because she felt de Menil enabled her son, who famously died young of a heroin overdose. Annie Armstrong dug into the dark family drama.

The circumstances around her final years have long been the source of speculation. Friends say they lost regular contact with Christophe after she handed power of attorney to her daughter, Taya Thurman, and Taya’s son Maxwell Snow, Dash’s brother. In 2021, Alina Morini began to file court documents alleging Taya was responsible for keeping Christophe trapped in her apartment on East 81st Street and Fifth Avenue, surrounded by rotting food and inattentive caretakers. Taya, in her own filing, called Morini “a con-artist.” But friends of Christophe backed Morini’s claims in court. In an affidavit, William Middleton, who wrote Double Vision, the definitive biography of Christophe’s parents, John and Dominique de Menil, alleged Taya and Max also kept Christophe’s sister Adelaide apart from friends and fired longtime employees. “Their single-minded effort to get their hands on the fortunes of the two sisters [is among] the most shocking acts of elder abuse, family betrayal, and pure greed that I have ever witnessed,” Middleton wrote.

The sheer number of socialites, artists, and celebrities tangentially touched by this story is quite staggering.

MOVIES

It’s Hard Out There for Indie Filmmakers

You can be nominated for an Oscar but short on rent money.

directors whose lives are not financially sustainable. Here’s director Daniel Lombroso’s take on the situation:

If you see your film as a commodity, you will be disappointed, and you probably will not see money back. A lot of times, even people who sign with distributors don’t see much money back.

The perception of filmmaking is that it’s glamorous. We just had a film in SXSW that got really fantastic reviews. But then you come back to New York, and you have to find a way to make a living. I’ve made a lot of films that have played at the big American festivals, and some in Europe, and I still have never made money as a director. I have friends who’ve been nominated for Oscars and then have gone back to day jobs near the minimum wage. I think the secret that people don’t talk about is that a lot of people in independent films come from a huge amount of family money, so they probably don’t have to work and can focus on their films. That’s okay, but it’s certainly not my situation.

If, after reading this, you feel scandalized about the extent to which the movie business runs on unpaid and underpaid labor, you are gonna be really shocked when I tell you about book publishing, lol.

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BEAUTY

All the Prime Day Beauty Deals I’m Adding to Cart

Sorry to support Jeff Bezos, but Mama needs her K-beauty products.

The Cut and the Strategist have great coverage of everything that’s on sale at the everything store, which I have cherry-picked to fill up my own cart. From Strat’s deals roundup, I snagged Youth to the People Superfood Cleanser, which has kale in it and somehow smells great. The team also has specific K-beauty recommendations, leading me to purchase Skin1004 sunscreen and CosRx pimple patches. And from The Cut’s roundup, I added a Boy Smells candle and CNP Honey Lip Butter. While I was at it, I stocked up on my favorite Strat-endorsed moisturizer, Centellian24 Madeca Cream, which is 30 percent off. In other words, this summer I’m going to be so fragrant, sun-protected, and moist.

Click Your Way Out

• You should stop whatever you’re doing and watch Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.

• New Yorkers, don’t forget to vote today! Here are some interesting races to watch, and here are my official endorsements for District 25.

• There’s an $80 pie in Amagansett because of course there is.

• At least there are still some real surfers left in Montauk.

• A report from the frontier of weight-loss drugs.

• Amy Adams saved someone’s life thanks to medical knowledge gleaned from playing a doctor on TV.

• I continue to feel that Connor Storrie’s stylist should go to jail.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Horoscopes.

At least Connor sat next to Madonna!

MEN

How a Real-Estate Mogul With 22 Kids Gets It Done

If by “it” you mean buying up big swaths of Long Island.

Stefan Soloviev is the largest industrial landowner on the North Fork, a native New Yorker turned Floridian, and the type of guy who sometimes momentarily loses track of how many sets of twins he has sired (it’s four). For our very entertaining “Hamptons Issue,” Reeves Wiedeman sat down with Soloviev over a bottle of wine that Soloviev initially referred to as “Pinot Blank” to discuss the controversy that’s arisen around some of his holdings. This profile has one very fun sentence that I’d like to highlight here: “Soloviev was born in Manhattan, where he lived against his will for the first 18 years of his life.” There are many more fun sentences, of course — Reeves doesn’t disappoint — but that was the most fun one, to me. I talked to Reeves about the whole shebang.

Did you have fun hanging out with Soloviev? He seems … not the most pleasant.

I did enjoy the hang. It was a beautiful early June day on the North Fork, 75 degrees and sunny with a soft breeze, and we were sitting out in the back of a vineyard and having a bottle of wine. That’s just a nice place to be. But what I appreciated about him is that he was very direct and very blunt.

Yeah, it’s remarkable that he publicly admitted to hating New York sports teams at this exact moment in history. But I guess when your dad is a billionaire and you’ve also amassed a ton of money and land, you don’t really have to care what people think?

I don’t think he concerns himself hugely with broader concerns beyond what he wants to be doing for his business and his family. He obviously has a lot of kids and seems to spend a lot of time with them and really does treat them like siblings, especially the older ones. They were sitting there showing me these videos of them playing indoor hockey together. And he seemed to be having a pretty good time. He’s living a kind of life that seems a little bit crazy, but he genuinely seems pretty happy with it.

I guess that helps temper my gut reaction to hearing “22 children” where I’m like, That’s gross.

He didn’t really have a good answer exactly for why he wanted to have so many kids. He sort of admits that it’s not possible for him to be close to all of them, especially some of the younger ones who live out west.

I was intrigued by your conversation with Robert Lipsyte, the journalist who lives on Shelter Island and who seems like a really interesting and fun local character. Is he the novelist Sam Lipsyte’s dad?

I’m just now Googling it and, yes, it appears that he is Sam Lipsyte’s dad! He used to be at the Times, among other places, and he writes this local column about whatever complaints they have about what’s going on. He’s also very blunt about his feelings.

The closing of the island’s only pharmacy was a big deal. Obviously, the residents weren’t thrilled that the Solovievs bought the pharmacy and then closed it. But from Soloviev’s perspective, it’s just a business that’s losing money.

They were not the saviors that they kind of tried to present themselves as. Stefan’s ex-wife was the one who was really interested in Shelter Island and these businesses, but Stefan is the businessman, and he just clearly didn’t have any real love for Shelter Island at all. To run these kinds of businesses, you either have to have a total willingness to lose a bunch of money for the good of the community, or you really have to love it. And he wasn’t willing to do either thing.

Reeves, are you a Hamptons guy?

I’ve only been there twice before. The first time was for a reporting trip about ten years ago. I’d had a really good day of reporting and I was treating myself to a beer and a sandwich on the beach by myself afterward, and then I was going to drive back into the city in my rental car. Except when I got to my car, I realized that I had put the car keys in the bag that I had just thrown in the trash can, and it was one of those trash cans you can’t open. There were some locals who came by and we tried to see if we could figure it out, but we couldn’t. I was very cheap and in my 20s, like, I can’t afford a hotel. Where am I going to go stay out here in the Hamptons in the summer? And these nice locals were just like, “Why don’t you just come crash with us?” So I slept on a couch that night, and in the morning I called the city and was like, “What do I do about my car keys?” And they were like, “You just need to go there the next morning before the trash truck gets there, and he’ll open it.” So that’s what I did. It felt very dramatic at the time.

I’m glad you didn’t get murdered in the Hamptons.

BEAUTY

Attention All Boys: You Should Be Wearing Blush

Aika Flores, stylist of the hottest men in the world, shares her secrets.

It’s been several weeks since I last mentioned Hudson Williams in this newsletter, so I’m allowed to have a little “mentioning Hudson Williams” as a treat. His stylist and pal Aika Flores told The Cut’s Carol Lee about her own extensive skin and hair routines, her favorite things to use on herself and her clients, and her very important advice to boys.

Boys should always wear blush. I tell all my clients, “I’m gonna put blush on, but don’t be scared. It’s going to make you look alive. If anything, it’s going to make you look like you don’t have makeup on because it looks like you’re sun-kissed.” And then they look after I’ve applied it, and they’re like, “Oh my God, yeah, it looks so good.” I have so many that I love to use on my clients. I don’t use Rhode Toasted Teddy on guys because that’s a little scary for them, but I do really like Rhode Sleepy Girl or Tan Line. I love the Chanel Lip and Cheek Balm — I used the shade Healthy Pink on Hudson for Laufey’s “Madwoman” music video, and it sold out.

I will not buy the $50 Hudson Williams blush. However, Ciele SPF tinted moisturizer is now in my cart; Flores has “never tried anything as good.” It is definitely going to give me the dewy skin of a preternaturally attractive young person.

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LIBATIONS

Do You Dare to Drink a Vodka-Cran?

It may not be “the drink of the summer,” but you can’t deny its simple charm.

Olivia Rodrigo, who just announced an all-women music festival, sings, “Rocking a minidress with a vodka-cran and an open heart.” Is this you? It is Tom Smyth, who goes on to explain:

I mean, just take a look at it — it’s gorgeous. A shot of vodka topped off with the bog’s finest cranberry juice over ice in a glass adorned with a wedge of lime. Everybody looks stunning holding one, especially out in the sun, where it refracts the light like beautiful stained glass (if the stained glass were all stained red and sticky). The flavor palate is simple yet complex, with the tart sweetness of the cranberry not just masking the taste of alcohol but cutting it beyond recognition. And you can even experiment with variations, like the similarly classic “vodka-soda splash of cran,” a phrase I’ve yelled across dozens of bars like an incantation. It’s a particularly great option if you want to temper the sweetness or are gay. What’s not to love?

Haters were quick to dump on the humble vodka-cran, declaring it a drink for the very young and unsophisticated. It is more sophisticated than what I was ordering at Olivia Rodrigo’s age: a vodka-tonic or, much more disgustingly, a Stoli Vanilla and Coke. Now I don’t drink at all. All of these choices are okay. Everyone needs to relax.

Click Your Way Out

• Meet the Humans of the Hamptons.

• Also out East: You can buy a $150 bottle of Japanese grape juice.

• The complex emotional journey of becoming a mother via surrogacy.

• An excerpt from actress Hannah Murray’s memoir of recovering from mental illness exacerbated by an energy-healing cult.

• Music-business legend Clive Davis has died at 94.

• Beach reads for the discerning and adventurous. I trust Molly but will not be reading about logging.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

Are you a “Hamptons person”? Let me know at dinnerparty@nymag.com. Personally, I like to summer in “my apartment,” where I “pay rent.”

ONLINE THINGS

Jalen Brunson Is Going to Be So Good On SVU

People were tweeting this week almost like they’d been drunk for five days straight.

We’re off Friday for Juneteenth so Becca Schuh harvested tweets early this week. As always, a peek into her timeline is equal parts illuminating, disturbing, and affirming.

Welcome to New Yorkkk! The absolutely feral and unhinged vibes generated by the Knicks win were palpable online. We long for a return to Hale & Hearty Soups, people lined up to see a mayonnaise vending machine, and a lone soldier wages war against a Thai restaurant for flooding his tote bag.

Zohran may be mayor, but Jalen is president of NYC.

And as president, his first act will be playing a psychosexual perp beyond our wildest nightmares on SVU.

It’s really Summer of Sports in NYC.

Everyone has a different vision of what their return to an ideal New York looks like and I think that’s beautiful.

Quick question … Israel in “five” what?

Once again, Line Culture (as I’ve come to call it) must be stopped!!!

Let’s weigh in on Shannon’s dilemma?

I love that being incredibly online has its own language that has infiltrated society like this.

MOVIES

Toy Story 5 Is Not a Searing Indictment of Big Tech

Unfortunately, I’ll still be seeing it this weekend.

I’ll be seated in a movie theater this Sunday for the fifth installment of the Toy Story franchise, because there are no other kids’ movies out right now and we already saw Stop! That! Train! (perfect, no notes). If you were hoping for the toys to vanquish the evil iPad played with admirable zeal by Greta Lee, you will be disappointed, writes Alison Willmore.

Pixar is based right across the bay from San Francisco and was born out of the promise that computer animation can be just as emotionally rich and as creatively ambitious as the hand-drawn stuff. Fair to say it was always going to be conflicted over whether devices (a word Jessie spits like a slur) are harming us. Back in the animation pioneer’s heyday, it offered up a futuristic portrait of humanity reduced to boneless adult babies sucking on straws while watching screens in WALL-E. But it also counterbalanced that image with a romance between two robots who were as expressive and enchanting as the Old Hollywood stars they watched on a battered VHS. The way that Toy Story 5 presents our impending dystopia of compulsive screen time, with Jessie glumly surveying a suburban landscape of windows aglow with phones and computers that everyone’s silently staring at, doesn’t feel like the work of a company wrestling with its own relationship with technology and how it’s changing the world.

I’ll adjust my expectations accordingly!

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MENTAL HEALTH

Should You Work Through Your Daddy Issues With a Male Therapist?

A growing number of women are paying to talk to a dude.

What do you look for in a therapist? For most people who’ve been socialized as women, the default is a female therapist, and luckily those are pretty easy to find. But, as my brilliant friend Meaghan O’Connell writes, some women find that doing therapy with a man can help them work through their issues in productively different ways, like having to explain things that a female therapist might implicitly understand. And if, for instance, you grew up feeling like you had to impress or seduce every man you meet (couldn’t be me! ahahaha), working with a male therapist might be especially helpful.

Kara, a 41-year-old content strategist, spent about two years in therapy with a man I’ll call Allen in New York City, where she said that her “daddy issues got used” to similar, positive effect. She describes Allen as a bald, nerdy, warmly intellectual man who was disarmingly “un-therapist-y.” She says he was good at neutralizing his gender and it didn’t feel very present in the room.

On the other hand, Kara said she’s been working on her desire to “seem impressive” to people she respects, especially men. So Allen’s gender brought this desire to the surface in a useful way. She was able to act out and interrogate that impulse in the safe confines of his office. “Looking back,” she says, “he was deftly withholding at times. He would be kind without indulging my need for validation. He was very good at holding a line.”

Hmmm! Lots of food for thought here. I’m sticking with my “older, wiser version of me” therapist for now, though.

Click Your Way Out

• Everything about “The Look Book” going to Dyke Prom is perfect but especially that one eye-opening quote from a sex educator.

• Ultimate NYC horror story: A couple say they faced a targeted harassment campaign aimed to get them out of their rent-stabilized loft.

• For fans of Aimee Mann and Rush, a treat.

• Rachel Zegler sang the hell out of “Fame Is a Gun” at the Culture Awards.

• All of Josh O’Connor’s delightful little hobbies.

• Crossword.

• Cinematrix.

• Telematrix.

• Horoscopes.

From the mailbag: One reader’s favorite Joyce Carol Oates tweet is this one that ends with the words “deleting him with a negligent swipe of the wrist as Stalin did routinely.”